


holes

by r1ptides



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, I'm Sorry, Satire, plot holes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23708839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r1ptides/pseuds/r1ptides
Summary: In which Percy asks the questions we’ve all been wondering(plot holes and breaking the fourth wall, this is a crack fic, rick i still love u)
Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 64





	holes

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to sleep at 4am and came up with this  
> no disrespect to rick I love that man  
> also some of my points r a reach feel free to argue even tho I am unable to handle criticism

**I. how did sally have percy in august if he was conceived the summer before?**

"He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin," Sally told her son, looking out at the sea which has no connection whatsoever to Percy’s father who she is referencing.

"But... he knew me as a baby."

"No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."

“Mom, that literally makes no sense,” Percy protested. “My birthday’s in August, how would… how does that even happen?”

Sally pondered this for a moment. “Well, you had to be born within the timeframe of a summer so it would align with your camp and the prophecy but also had to align with a timeframe where I would realistically be at a summer cabin in one of the most expensive areas in New York State despite our troubling financial state,” she responded casually.

Percy’s face went slack.  _ “What? _ ” he exclaimed.

“Haha,  _ kidding _ sweetie! I was pregnant with you for almost a whole year! You were a huge ass baby!”

**II. blackjacks gender? wtf**

It was just another day at Camp Half-Blood during the summer. Percy was in the pegasus stalls, talking to the pegasi as Silena Beauregard groomed them, humming joyfully to herself.

“Hey… Blackjack,” Percy said.

_ What’s up, boss? _ The pegasus responded, nudging Percy gently. 

“The first time we met, when we were on that ship… weren’t you a mare?” Percy asked carefully. 

Blackjack neighed.  _ Yes, _ he affirmed. 

“Now you’re not a mare,” Percy continued.

_ Yes, _ Blackjack said again.

Percy stared blankly. “So… uh… how’d that happen?”

_ Oh, well, Rick forgot! Classic Rick!  _

Percy’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who’s Rick? Silena, do you know any Rick?”

Silena peered over, seeming to think. “There’s Rich from the Apollo Cabin, but no Rick,” she responded.

Percy looked back to the horse. “So… who’s Rick?” he asked again.

_ Haha, just kidding Boss! I got pegasus sex reassignment surgery! _

Percy decided that was enough of the stables for today.

**III. not even a plot hole but why tf do they wear the brightest color if they’re trying to hide from monsters?**

It was Percy’s first week at Camp, getting the feel of things. The gods being real was becoming more believable day by day, although he still had many questions.

He sat with Annabeth and Chiron on the porch of the Big House, listening to Chiron’s record player as the two read books and Percy relaxed.

“Why do we wear orange shirts? I mean, it stands out to monsters. If demigods go on a quest trying to hide from monsters, why are they wearing the brightest color?” he found himself asking.

Both perked up from their reading. The question caught Chiron and Annabeth by surprise, but Annabeth tried to answer first. “It’s just a Camp thing… I guess,” she said. “Why do we, Chiron? Does it have any meaning?”

Chiron pondered this. “Well, you see orange is almost the opposite of purple. The opposite really is  _ yellow, _ but unpopular opinion yellow is actually an ugly, piss color, so we chose orange. It symbolizes the complete contrast in lifestyles and culture.” Chiron smiled as if this was an acceptable answer.

“What’s purple got to do with anything?” Annabeth asked, pitch becoming shriller as if the ton of illogical information made her want to explode.

“When you go to war for the second time, you’ll see. Don’t worry about it.”

**IV. how tf did this kid get into NYU**

“Hey man,” Percy said, entering the Hephaestus Cabin with Annabeth. 

“We came to say congrats on NYU!” Annabeth exclaimed, patting Beckendorf on the back.

“Thanks guys,” Beckendorf beamed. “I have  _ no _ clue how I got in.”

Percy nodded. “Yeah, me neither considering you’ve been here year round because you’re one of the oldest of us and therefore can’t survive outside here unless you have the amazing luck I do, received no formal education like the rest of year-rounders here, and NYU is very selective, but dude that’s great!”

“Yes,” Annabeth nodded. “It’s as if NYU was just a big name used as a detail to make the impossible achievement even better, although using a more realistic school, like the affordable, still great SUNYs, would have been better and also show kids you don’t need to aim for a big name college that will in the end just put you in debt for no reason. No offense if any readers go there.”

“Haha, you guys are right!” Beckendorf laughed.

“Anyways, congrats again dude,” Percy said to allow Beckendorf to continue his work.

**V. luke is a creep idc**

The war was over, and Camp wasn’t entirely back to normal with all the losses they had, but those who survived spent time with fellow survivors, trying to end summer on a good note.

Percy played basketball with the Stolls and some of their siblings, although sometimes he got distracted, seeing Annabeth playing volleyball on one of the courts.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking,” Percy said, dribbling between his legs.

“Yeah?” Travis asked, crouched over to try and get the ball.

“Well… I hate to bring it up… but Luke asked Silena to spy for her when she was maybe 12, 13?”

Travis stood up straighter, face getting serious. “Well, yeah.”

“And she said he  _ charmed _ her,” Percy continued.

Travis nodded, to see where Percy was going with this.

“And Luke was what, 6, 7 years older than us?”

Travis nodded again.

“So,” Percy said uncomfortably. “Isn’t that… creepy? And predatory? I dunno, doesn’t sit right with me the more I think it over.”

“Whoa man,” Travis said. “Are you implying the antagonist’s redemption moment doesn’t justify every single flaw he had? And that he’s actually not a completely good person, which I guess was the intended effect? That’s my brother Percy that has been fully redeemed to me… Kinda disrespectful… I think we should just never address this ever again, even if it’s a valid argument.”

Travis walked away, leaving Percy with a blank look. “Good talk,” he said to no one.

  
  



End file.
